I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
