Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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