Don't you send me to vm
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
