I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
