i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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