OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
