i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
