Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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