Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have aggressive nipples.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
