is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
