We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
