Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
