Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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