You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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