Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
