My first STD was from a foam party
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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