Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
ttyl tear gas
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
