just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
