i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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