He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
