Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
