just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
