the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
