I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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