note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
