Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
