Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
