Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
