Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am never drinking with the goths again.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
