i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
