Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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