Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
