I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
