How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
