He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
