good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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