You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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