He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
