I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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