I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
