What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
