We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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