This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
