We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize