Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
