I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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