I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
