I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
