forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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