Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
